Word Count: 695
Rating: PG.
Category: Friendship. Slight McKay/Keller.
Story Status: Complete.
Summary:  
Spoilers for The Shrine, Season 5. What happened when they got back to Atlantis... 

Beta: Thank you to Leesa Perrie for the beta-reading.



The Shrine Tag
aka My version of what happened when they got back to Atlantis
by Jayne Perry

"Time to let my patient have some rest and if I hear another hole in the head joke, your next check-up will be done by a vet," said Dr Keller, with a grin.  "And you need some rest as well, Jeannie.  I don't want you ending up in the bed next to your brother."

"Anything but that," said Jeannie with a look of mock horror, drawing smiles from Ronon and Keller.  "The last time I shared a room with him he kept me awake all night with horror stories."

Reluctantly they got up, but just as they were leaving Rodney asked Ronon to stay a minute.

"I just wanted to say... I… "

How do you say sorry for sounding like a petulant child?  Sorry for the hurt feelings? He had noticed the way Ronon had turned away from him when he’d complained that bringing him back for one last day wasn't a good idea.  After all, he was never good with imminent death, especially his own.  He knew now that they had just wanted him back, admittedly just to say goodbye to the man they knew, rather than the man he had become.  But at the time it had all been overwhelming and scary; scary to suddenly find yourself in a strange place and scary that he only had a day to live. 

After they had returned to Atlantis, he had come to realise the true extent of the risks they had taken, not for Atlantis but for him.  It also came as a shock to him to know how much they truly cared.  He knew they cared to a degree, but that they would risk going to a Wraith infested planet, knowing he was dying anyway,  to risk their own lives as well, just so they could say goodbye was overwhelming.  To realise how far they would go for him, that was so far beyond his own expectations.

He wanted to thank Ronon for fighting to take him there, for giving him his life back. There were so many things he wanted to say to him.  But he had never been able to talk about feelings, except maybe the negative ones, so couldn't find the words to say how much he appreciated on so many levels all that Ronon had done for him, and that he deeply regretted the harsh words said in the cave. He wanted to tell him he had seen the hurt look on Ronon's face, even though Ronon had turned away to try and hide it. He knew Ronon had only been trying to help, and wished he had never spoken them aloud.or that he could take the words back.

So Rodney said the only word he could, even though it was inadequate for all he really wanted to say.

"Thanks."

Ronon's face broke into a smile.

"Anytime, McKay.  I hear there's some ham still in the mess.  I'll bring you some later and blue jello.  If it’s okay with Jennifer."

With that, Ronon turned and left.

Hearing the Doctor's name, a memory came unbidden of him sitting in front of the camera, telling Jennifer that he loved her. 

Inwardly he cringed.  If he hadn't been at 'death's door', he would never have said anything.  He couldn't help wondering what she had thought of the admission. Should he pretend he had no recollection of it, should he get her flowers, should he get Teyla to talk to her and find out Jennifer's feeling about him?

"Are you going to get some sleep?  Or am I going to have to get the knock out drops?"

Suddenly hearing her voice next to him when he had been so deep in thought made him jump, especially as it was her he'd been thinking about.

"Sorry," he mumbled, blushing, as he settled himself further into his bed, avoiding eye contact. Maybe he should check the tapes in the next few days to find out what else he'd said.  Hopefully he could plead temporary insanity.  After all, there was no way the pretty doctor could be interested in an old wreck like him.

And with thoughts of Jennifer in his head, he fell asleep.

Rodney

The End



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