Missing scene for This Mortal Coil. Radek is worried about
On the Jumper Bay yahoo group's Christmas Wish List,
Rowan asked for a Radek or Ronon centred story, that could
have other characters in it. This is a Radek POV involving
Rodney and John that I sent to her on Christmas Day, 2007.
Thank you to Jayne Perry for the beta-reading.
Loss, and the Art of
Coping (or Not)
By Leesa Perrie
Radek was concerned. The conversation with Rodney had
him greatly. He knew that working was the
Canadian’s way of
not dealing with bad events, he’d seen it before, but for
to admit it, and to admit that he wasn’t ready to deal with
Elizabeth’s death, had thrown him. Rodney
admit things like that, not to him; well, unless he was trying to fix
things so that he could ascend, that was.
He thought back to Carson’s death. It had been a
for everyone; Carson was well-liked and his death had shaken the
Atlantis personnel badly. Rodney had buried himself in his
that time as well, though it was also different; he’d snapped
snarled at the science staff to a degree that he’d never done
before, causing them to avoid him at all costs. Radek, to his
shame now, hadn’t tried to help Rodney back then;
known what to say, what to do; had been struggling with his own grief
too much to look beyond himself.
It had only been when he felt the scientists were on the verge of
mutiny, themselves mourning Carson’s loss and not taking to
Rodney’s temper tantrums well, that he had done anything, and
even then that had been to ask Elizabeth to intervene.
He couldn’t do that this time.
Walking into the mess hall, he grabbed a tray, placing on it a
sandwich, an apple and a mug of coffee. He intended to go
the lab to eat, mainly so that Rodney was not alone even if he
wasn’t ready to talk to anyone, but spotted Sheppard off in a
corner on his own. Perhaps this was the answer.
“Colonel, may I join you?” he asked, setting his
tray down onto the table and taking a seat.
“Do I have any choice?” Sheppard said dryly, with
“There is always choice,” he replied
succinctly. “You could leave.”
“Right,” John drawled. “Of
course I could. Any particular reason for sitting
“Ah, perhaps I have slight ulterior motive.”
“Okay, spill it, doc.”
“It is Rodney. He is working too hard. I
take a break but he will not,” he said, trying to convey his
“Rodney always works hard,” Sheppard dismissed
Radek saw the fleeting look of concern on the Colonel’s face
before it was quickly masked by nonchalance and a casual shrug of his
“Yes, but this is… I suggested to him he is trying
lose himself in his work, he admits this it true. That it is
Carson all over again and he is not ready to deal with it.”
absentmindedly pushed his glasses further up the bridge of his nose
while nervously awaiting the Colonel’s response.
“We all deal with things our own way,” Sheppard
after a moment’s pause, looking highly uncomfortable with the
“Yes, yes, but Rodney is not
dealing with Elizabeth’s death. It is not
But he will not talk to me, that much is clear. He may not
to anyone, but…”
“You want me to try?” Sheppard finished for him,
with a grimace.
“Perhaps, or if not you, then Teyla, or Ronon even.”
Sheppard was quiet for a minute, clearly lost in thought. He
wasn’t certain if approaching the Colonel had been the right
thing to do, knowing that the man was also grieving.
“You going to eat that or just play with
Sheppard suddenly said, looking pointedly at the sandwich he had been
“I think I am not so hungry as I thought,” he said,
thinking that Sheppard didn’t want to talk about it
Perhaps he should talk to Teyla, he thought as a yawn escaped him.
“You should get some rest, it’s late,”
“No, I will return to lab. Keep Rodney
company. I doubt I’ll be able to sleep
“No, really, you should turn in for the night,”
repeated, standing up and grabbing his tray, giving Radek a meaningful
look before adding quietly, “I got it covered.”
Radek nodded his understanding, quietly relieved.
“Then I shall at least try to sleep,” he replied.
As he watched the Colonel leave the mess hall, he smiled to
himself. Hopefully Sheppard could help; if not, at least he
aware of the problem, and that was a start.
Picking up his own tray, he deposited it on his way out. He
didn’t go to straight to his quarters, however, but instead
to the balcony closest to Elizabeth’s room. A place
knew she had visited whenever she needed to get away from her
responsibilities and relax; this balcony offering more privacy than the
one off her office.
Standing, he looked out over the ocean, an ocean that Elizabeth had
never seen, and thought of another friend lost.
And allowed himself to grieve.