Atl_IntergalacticCats3

Word Count: 1,558
Rating: PG
Category: Humour.
Story Status: Complete.
Summary: The two kittens are growing up and getting into trouble...again!

WARNING: Even more cuteness ahead, and a large dose of silliness too!

Written for the SGA_flashfic Criminal Challenge - sga_flashfic contains gen, ship and slash fics.

Author's Notes: Set between ‘The Ark’ and ‘Sunday’. This story comes with a large pinch of salt included free of charge, along with a silliness warning. I have no idea what I was on when I wrote this!!!

Beta: Thank you to Jayne Perry for the beta-reading.

Intergalactic Cats: The Miscreants
By Leesa Perrie

The kittens were growing up; recent behaviour had proved that beyond doubt, when Stardust, followed a day later by Midnight, came into heat. And let everyone know about it.

At night, they called for a male to come and see them, loudly and incessantly, forcing even Rodney to leave them in their specially created cat room, as no one could cope with that racket in their quarters when trying to work, read, relax or sleep.

They were extra-friendly towards each other and anyone else who was close by; rubbing against people more affectionately than normal, lying around with ‘come hither’ looks on their faces, mounting each other, and just generally flirting with anything and anyone in a most unbecoming manner. And whenever someone opened a door, the kittens were there, trying to get out, wanting to find themselves a sexy tom cat, or few, to see to their needs.

It was decided that they needed to be spayed. And as soon as possible.

Fortunately a new recruit in the biology department had actually been a vet before moving into research and ending up on Atlantis, so he agreed to do the deed. The people of Atlantis heaved a huge sigh of relief at this, and an even bigger sigh of relief when the operations were over and the kittens made a full and bouncing recovery in seemingly no time at all, and peace descended once more.

---------

Shortly after this, one of the rec rooms was deemed ‘cat friendly’, which meant that the kittens were allowed inside it while people watched movies, played games or generally just relaxed, and the cat-allergy people knew that the room was out of bounds for them. It made things easier, as even with everyone that lived in Atlantis, there were occasions when going to the special cat room was a chore; bringing them to the rec room was often a better and easier option at those times.

Stardust and Midnight loved movies and programmes with animals in them; whether they could see the screen or not was a hotly debated argument, but there was no doubting that they could hear the sounds the TV transmitted. They reacted with interest to these and, at times, with befuddlement as well.

And then the incidences started, in the second week of cat-sitting in the rec room. Things started to disappear. Small items such as; a silver pen a physician had been using to write letters home, a gold bracelet a biologist had taken off while relaxing, a silver-plated thimble that an avid sewer had left lying around one day, a shiny hair ribbon that had been removed as a female marine literally let her hair down, a pair of glasses that a colleague had removed from a sleeping Czech, so that he wouldn’t break them in his sleep (fortunately Zelenka had spares), a silver cigarette case that was a family heirloom and had been brought down to show it off to others, a metallic mp3 player, a couple of DVDs and a Johnny Cash CD, without their cases, a few spoons and forks, a bottle of silver nail varnish, and even a couple of foil wrapped PowerBars.

At first it was assumed that the items had merely been misplaced, but as the weeks went on and more and more things disappeared, they reluctantly came to the conclusion that they had a thief in their midst.

A strange thief, for certain, but a thief nonetheless. Perhaps someone with kleptomania? Stealing only small objects, some with value, others without. Though surely the security and psychological checks would have picked up on that before they were assigned here?

One thing they were sure of; someone was taking these items. But who?

It was a mystery, and one that remained as the investigation proved fruitless, much to the frustration and annoyance of the senior staff, as well as the victims of theft.

---------

It was about this time that Midnight started becoming a minor nuisance, having developed a love of laces; shoes, boots, any type of footwear with laces attracted her, and she enjoyed stealthily untying them. The first few times her victims had nearly tripped up, but word soon got around and it was a matter of course to check your laces were still tied before standing when occupying a Midnight-infested room.

Except for John Sheppard, that was. His habit of tucking his tied laces into his boots or shoes frustrated the black cat to no end. She tried unsuccessfully to pull them out without John noticing, but he always felt her less-than-stealthy moves and interrupted her fun. As a result, he never thought to check his laces before standing up; he knew he’d gotten the feline miscreant beat.

Though she still kept on trying, and he swore sometimes when she looked at him she was plotting the downfall of his shoelaces in her furry little head. But he told himself to stop being so paranoid. He had her beat, and she knew it.

---------

Four weeks after the thieving had started, Ronon, Teyla, Rodney and John were having a team night in the cat-friendly rec room, with the adolescent females keeping them company. The movie was half way through when a noise caught their attention, and they turned to watch in bemusement as Stardust pulled a shiny metal food tray, the one they’d used to bring their shared food snacks on, along the floor.

The look of determination on her face was both amusing and beguiling, as she tugged it purposely along, before tucking it under the main couch, which was the only one with a big enough gap for a young cat to get under, and then slipping underneath to join it.

“Okay,” John said disbelievingly, “Did I just see what I thought I did?”

“Yep,” came Ronon’s no nonsense reply.

“Shall we…?” Rodney indicated the couch with a moving motion.

“I think we need to,” John agreed, grabbing one end ready to move it. Ronon grabbed the other end and between the two of them they moved it carefully to one side.

Stardust glared up at them from her pile of spoils; all the shiny metal items that had been reported missing, along with empty, but shiny, PowerBar, chewing gum and candy wrappers. Rodney retrieved the unhappy mewling cat as the others gathered the items up, disposing of the rubbish and placing the rest onto the food tray.

“I’ll go put these in the next room and let Elizabeth know. She can have someone tell people to collect their missing items,” John said with shake of his head at the ruffled feline in Rodney’s arms, and then grinned broadly. “Well, I guess Stardust is the true definition of a cat burglar, then.”

Rodney groaned, as the other two looked confused.

“Sheppard, that was…beyond bad. Really, really terrible. I’d have thought someone with your supposed intellect could do better than that,” Rodney said, with his usual side order of sarcasm.

“What is a cat burglar?” Teyla asked, interrupting before an argument could ensue, and John left Rodney to explain it while he took the items next door.

“Elizabeth?” he called over his radio.

“John? I thought you were watching a movie with the rest of your team?”

“Yeah, we were. We’ve found out who the rec room thief is.”

“Please tell me it isn’t Ronon, Teyla, Rodney or yourself,” Elizabeth said, with dry humour.

“No, no, not us. Funny thing is…it was Stardust.”

“Stardust?” came the surprised response.

“Yeah.” He went on the tell her about the food tray and the stash of shiny objects under the couch, much to her obvious amusement.

“And you say she collects shiny things?” Elizabeth said with a laugh.

“Seems like it. Guess we’d better warn anyone who uses the room when she’s around.”

“Yes, we will. And maybe you should suggest to Rodney that he renames her Magpie.”

John snorted.

“Right,” he drawled. “I don’t think so. He didn’t seem impressed with my cat burglar pun. Said it was terrible,” he said, feigning hurt.

“Oh, John. I have to agree with him on that, it is terrible.”

“Humph. Well, can you ask someone to let people know they can collect their items from the room next door? I have a movie to finish watching.”

“I will. Enjoy the rest of the film.”

He signed off and returned to the rec room, in time to help replace the couch. After which, the team quickly settled back down to finish watching ‘Batman Returns’.

---------

By the time the movie had finished, Stardust had settled onto Teyla’s lap, though still sporting the look of a sulky teenaged cat on her face, and Midnight had found her way onto Rodney’s lap, purring contentedly as he stroked her.

John stood up to take the DVD out of the machine and almost tripped over his shoelaces.

His untied shoelaces.

He glared at his smirking team-mates and then at the black feline, that he could swear was smirking too, and who was surrounded by a lofty air of smugness; one only rivalled by McKay when he’d just done the almost impossible and saved their asses yet again.

“Cats,” he muttered sourly, as he sat back down to retie his laces. But he couldn’t help the grin that crossed his face. She’d got him good.

This time.

The End

Author's Notes:

1. I wish I could claim that this is all from my own imagination, but alas it is not. The stealing and hiding of shiny objects by Stardust and the untying of laces by Midnight are both traits of one, also fictional, cat called Yum Yum, who stars in most of ‘The Cat Who’ mysteries by Lilian Jackson Braun. They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. I can only hope that Ms Jackson Braun would agree (I’m not making any money out of this, so hopefully she would see it as advertisement for her quirky and loveable books).

2. Also, Jayne Perry gave me ideas for some of the shiny objects that Stardust pinches.

3. And finally, for those who don’t know (and I had to look this up myself) the film ‘Batman Returns’ stars Catwoman. As we know from canon that Rodney is a Batman fan, I thought it not too unlikely that they might be watching this, and it seemed somehow apt that this would be what the movie they were watching when Stardust’s larcenous ways are discovered. Their very own feline miscreant!

Part Four

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