Word Count:
784
Rating:
PG.
Category:
AU. Angst. Friendship. Team. Deathfic (death of a guest
character/family member)
Story Status:
Complete
Summary: Everyone
needs time to grieve. Everyone needs friends to help them do so.
Beta:
Thank you to Jayne Perry for the beta-reading.
Bridge of Tears
By Leesa Perrie
"got to walk out of here
I can't take anymore
going to stand on that
bridge
keep my eyes down below
whatever may come
and whatever may go
that river's flowing
that river's flowing"
Rodney stood on the wooden bridge slung low over the fast moving river.
It was low enough to feel the roar of the cool clear water rushing down
from the distant mountains through the soles of his feet, and to feel
the spray as it passed relentlessly on by, never stopping. Even when
the land was choked with the snow, the river kept on flowing deep below
the ice - sometimes slowed, but never halted.
As a child, he had stood here and dreamed of being like this river.
Dreamed of where it would go, where it would take him if he followed
its course. As he grew older, he had traced the river's course to the
sea, chanting the names of the places it passed through and wondering
what those places were like - until science had chased his childish
wonder away.
Now, all these years later, the cold ice water still flowed onwards as
always and life carried on.
Except for Jeannie.
He leaned on the railing, shoulders hunched as he lowered his head
sadly. So many had been lost and he felt the weight of their lives on
his shoulders - the what ifs and maybes playing in his head.
Faces contorted with pain, begging for relief, when none was
forthcoming.
Jeannie's face pushed to the front. Begging him why, and he
couldn't answer.
Why had the Wraith come? Why had it taken so long to defeat them? Why
had hundreds of thousands died at their hands?
Why had Jeannie been amongst them?
Tired, he was so very tired - of the fighting and the dying. Of not
being able to protect those he cared about. Of looking in a child's
eyes and seeing the pain, because her mommy was never coming home
again. Of knowing that Kaleb blamed them all, blamed him, more than any
other, for letting this happen.
He shivered as a breeze passed over him, the weather cold despite it
being spring here. Lifting his head briefly he could see the pale sun
rising, it's rays beginning to creep over the trees that
lined
the river's edge - casting its light over a land that no longer felt
like home. If it ever truly had.
Jeannie had always been happy here, at the family cabin in the hills.
Somehow it had seemed right to come here - yet without her, the place
had become nothing but a mocking memory of what he had lost. Of what he
had not given enough time to - family.
Time passed, darkness consuming his thoughts. How long he stood there,
he didn't know for sure - but the sun was high in the sky when he felt
as much as heard someone stand next to him. Not speaking, not touching,
just standing quietly by his side.
He couldn't look up. Wouldn't look up. He didn't want to see pity, or
even worse, understanding in her eyes - and he knew who it was by her
breathing, her delicate smell and her light steps when she had
approached. Years of being on the same team had allowed him to
recognise each one in this way.
Silence hung between them, and yet not awkward or strained. Just two
friends lost in thoughts of their own making.
Soon after, another person approached them, his shadow touching briefly
as he passed to stand the other side of him. Another silent presence,
brooding and strong. Protective. Safe.
He was not aware of the tears at first, as they slowly ran down his
face. Silently, he let them fall. A hand, small and tentative, touched
his right shoulder in comfort. Another, larger and more sure, touched
him on the left. An act of solidarity, letting him know that he was not
alone.
The tears dried, the breaths that had shuddered from him now evening
back out. Slowly, he lifted his head and allowed himself to be drawn
into a three-way hug. He felt awkward - and yet, somehow not.
"Don't give up," growled Ronon, instinctively knowing his tiredness.
"You are not alone," breathed Teyla, gentle as ever.
"I know," he muttered quietly, as a fourth person joined them - holding
back from the hug, until drawn in by Ronon's unrelenting embrace.
"Well, this is awkward," John muttered, but didn't pull away.
Rodney felt his strength returning, along with his determination and
will to survive. Jeannie would want him to go on, to keep fighting. She
wouldn't want him to give up, wouldn't want him to abandon his friends
and give in to despair.
For the first time in many days, Rodney McKay looked to the sky and,
surrounded by his team, felt the faintest glimmer of light.
"don't give up
'cos you have friends
don't give up
you're not beaten yet"
both sets of lyrics from
'Don't Give Up' by Peter Gabriel
The End