Word Count:
690
Rating:
PG.
Category:
Humour.
Story Status:
Complete
Summary: Set
a few months after ‘What’s in a Name’ - Jim’s back at work.
Beta:
Thank you to Jayne Perry for the beta-reading and pattrose for the cover art. All other artwork is by me.
Valentine Jokes
By Leesa Perrie
Jim opened the door to the loft, after collecting the newspaper and
mail, to find Blair just emerging from the bathroom.
“Hey, Jim, anything for me?” Blair asked.
“Yeah, looks like you have a few cards here, Mr
Valentine,” Jim answered, grinning.
“Hey, great. Hand them over.”
“So, how many women have you got on the go at the moment,
Lover
Boy, or should that be, Table Leg?” Jim
teased.
“You’re just jealous, man,” Blair
replied, grabbing a
handful of envelopes. “Hey, there’s one here
addressed to
you that looks like a card. Anything you want to tell me,
Jim?”
“No,” Jim replied, looking puzzled and taking said
envelope
from Blair. “That one addressed to you looks like the same
writing, Chief,” he said, pointing to one of
Blair’s
envelopes.
“That’s a bit strange,” Blair said.
“I
don’t think we’ve been dating the same woman
somehow.
Probably someone’s idea of a joke.”
“Yeah. Well, let’s open them together and
see if we can figure out who’s behind it.”
“Okay, man.”
Jim opened his envelope at the same time as Blair.
Jim’s
had a heart on the front and inside it said, “To my darling
Jim
from your one and only Sweetheart,” and had a cartoon of his
truck at the bottom.
Blair’s had a different heart on the front, and inside it
said,
“To my wonderful Blair from your one and only
Myrtle,” and
had a cartoon of Blair’s Volvo at the bottom, plus the words,
“Myrtle, the turtle look-a-like”.
Jim and Blair exchanged cards and looked at each other.
“So, Simon, Henri or Rafe?” asked Blair.
“Or all three, even?”
Jim looked at the cards closely and then drew in a careful breath.
“Hmm, smells like special blend coffee and expensive cigar
smoke,” Jim said, looking at Blair.
“Simon!” They exclaimed together.
“Guess we’re gonna have to think up some way of
getting him
back,” Blair said, with a wicked grin. “Especially
for
referring to Myrtle as a turtle - she’s nothing like
one!”
“Oh I don’t know, the Volvo does look a little bit
like a turtle,” Jim couldn’t help but tease him.
“She does not!”
“Why did you call her Myrtle, then, if it wasn’t to
rhyme with turtle?”
“Because Myrtle means an evergreen shrub and she’s
a green car! She’s not at all
turtle-like!”
“If you say so,” Jim said, not looking the least
bit
convinced of the Volvo’s non-turtle-ness. “But
you’re
right about getting Simon back,” a glint of mischief entered
Jim’s eyes. “And I think I have just the right idea
of how
to do so.”
----------------
Simon entered the bullpen, noting that Jim and Blair weren’t
in. He wondered if they had figured out who had sent them the
car
valentine cards. Not that he was worried if they
had. He
grinned to himself at the thought of their faces when they opened the
cards, and only wished he could have been there to see their
expressions.
As he entered his office, he noticed a white bag on his desk with a
note attached. Curious, he picked up the note. It
said,
“To Simon, with lots of love, your secret
admirer”.
He didn’t recognise the handwriting. Shrugging, he
opened
the bag and found a pineapple Danish inside. He smiled, and
pulled it out, setting it on top of the paper bag.
Putting his coat on the rack, he sat down and picked up the Danish,
biting into it and looking forward to the sweet pastry and pineapple
taste.
“Crap!” He spit it out, quickly. It
tasted of very
strong, and hot, curry powder. He heard laughter coming from
the
bullpen, and looked out his window to see that Jim and Blair had
appeared from wherever they had been. He wasn’t
stupid. He put two and two together and came up with one
detective and one police observer.
“Ellison! Sandburg!” he roared. When they
didn’t respond, he got up and went out into the
bullpen.
The two miscreants had disappeared. “Damn.”
Still, he was a patient man, and he could wait. And
plot.
And scheme. And think up some way of getting them back.
The End
