Word Count:
716
Rating: PG13
Category: Angst
Story Status: Complete
Summary: Missing scene for 'The Hive'. Rodney
has just watched his team die...
Beta:
Thank you to Jayne Perry for the beta-reading.
Shaken
By Leesa Perrie
He had failed. Failed his team. Sheppard, Teyla,
Ronon… even Ford. Dead.
And all he could do was stare at the screen showing debris, all that
was left of them.
And sure, they had saved a world from a culling, this time.
But
for how long? How long before other wraith came
here? All
he’d bought this world was time. Maybe
they’d defeat
the wraith before this world was culled by others, but somehow, he
doubted that. The people down there, all they had now was a
little more time; to die by natural means if they were lucky, before
more wraith came.
In the end it meant little.
But his team…
Maybe, if he had taken less of the enzyme… maybe he would
have
been more coherent, able to explain, to find the hive ship
sooner. Or maybe it would not have been enough to take out
the
guards. And then he wouldn’t have been able to help
anyone.
Perhaps he should have found paper, pen, pencil… something
to
write it all down, before taking the enzyme. But there was so
little time. And… he hadn’t been
thinking
straight. Still wasn’t.
He vaguely heard the call to Atlantis in the background, telling them
that the search was called off. They were heading back. There
was
nothing to search for. Nothing left but debris…
and
him. Alone. No more Sheppard, no more Teyla, no
more
Ronon. Damn, even Ford… though he may have been
too far
gone to help now anyway. But…
A thought hit him. It wouldn’t have mattered if
they’d found the ships earlier. They
wouldn’t have
found his team via their radios, and Caldwell would have attacked the
ships. His team would still be dead. And maybe the
crew of
the Daedalus as well. Because if Sheppard could have gotten
to a
dart earlier, he would have. So, maybe it was better this
way. Sheppard was able to take out the hive ships, at
least. Save the Daedalus and its crew.
But that still left his team dead, and him alone.
He was aware he was still staring at the screen. That he
hadn’t moved. There were no tears, not yet, but
there would
be. When the shock started to wear off. He should
move,
find somewhere quiet…
Movement next to him, and a hand on his arm, pulled him back
from… somewhere. He’d drifted.
Carson said the
drug was still affecting him, but hadn’t stopped him from
trying
to find his team. But he knew he’d be back in the
infirmary
as soon as they returned.
He felt the hand tighten slightly, and turned to look at who would dare
to touch him at this moment in time. Who would dare to
impinge
upon his grief.
Lorne. Of all the people here, he hadn’t expected
it to be
Lorne. There was a sadness in his eyes, but a gentleness
too. Go figure. This from the guy who could barely
stand
him. He must seem pitiful. Though there was no
pity, just
sorrow, in the Major’s eyes.
“You should rest,” Lorne suggested quietly.
No, he shouldn’t rest. Not now. He turned
back to the
screen. Not now. He knew what was next for
him.
Nightmares. So no, not now. Later, maybe.
Beckett
would insist, later. When he was back home.
He felt Lorne retreat. Heard a communication in the
background,
but ignored it. But then, there were sighs of relief all
around
him. He looked and saw smiles. Why were they
smiling?
He didn’t understand. And then Lorne was back.
“They’re alive,” he said, smiling openly,
“Sheppard took the dart through the stargate to another
planet,
and now they’re back on Atlantis.”
“Alive?” His voice was hoarse.
“Yeah, alive.”
Not alone. He looked away again, and then put his head in his
hands. He realised he was shaking. Damned enzyme.
Alive.
“You should rest,” Major Lorne repeated, tugging on
his arm.
He nodded, and allowed himself to be pulled gently off the flight
deck. He wasn’t pleased to find himself pulled
toward the
Daedalus’ infirmary, but didn’t argue.
Didn’t
fight. He couldn’t find the energy.
He heard talking, quiet whispers, probably about him. He
wasn’t sure he cared right now. He let sleep take
him,
knowing his team were alive. He wasn’t alone.
